Poor Par Par

Parley got his first tooth about a week ago. Which explains why he's been acting up the last few weeks. I was not too excited about going camping with a teething baby but oh well, what can you do? At our campout he was having a hard time taking naps and never wanted me to put him down. He also screamed about half of the drive home. Saturday night after we got home he was having a hard time going to bed again. I figured it was because he got spoiled the last 2 nights by getting to sleep next to me in the trailer. But there just wasn't anything I could do to calm him down. He was up on and off the whole night screaming.

Well the next morning when he woke up I got him out of his crib and noticed his ear was all goopy! I felt so terrible. I was getting so frustrated with him and he was crying in pain the whole time. So I took him in to the doctor and sure enough he had an ear infection. His first one :( I started him on medication right away and he is feeling much better already :)

Randall Campout 2010

This year we had our campout at Strawberry Reservoir. It's up in the Uintas so I was a little concerned about the weather. Especially after I was informed by my Father in Law that the first night was going to get down to 32 degrees. So I begged and pleaded with Brandon to go get the trailer from our 4 Plex in Layton. We were actually planning on selling it so Brandon had just gotten done cleaning it all out so he wasn't too excited about having to put it all back together but he did it anyway, for me :) He had to do some maintenance on it like resealing the roof and fixing a broken toilet but all in all it was ready to go. And I was very glad we had it too.

We were about to leave Thursday afternoon. The kids were all buckled up and ready to go. For some reason the hood of the truck was ajar so I went to close it and noticed the top of the inside of the hood was ripped apart. Brandon came over to look at it and told me that it was the serpentine belt coming apart. I said, "well, let's just go and fix it when we get home" (I was pretty frustrated it was so late already). Then he told me that the serpentine belt is what keeps the engine running. Bad belt, no drive. So of course this only got me even more frustrated. Now we had to all get out of the truck and wait for Daddy to replace the belt. Well thankfully I have a really amazing husband. He ran and bought a new belt and we were ready to go in an hour. (I love that man)

We drove up there with Danny and Keri, who also had their trailer, so we could look out for each other. It was almost dark by the time we got there and we were the last to arrive. But they already had the camp fire going so the kids and I hopped right out to join everyone while Brandon and Danny got the trailers set up. After a few smores and stories, the kids and I headed to bed. That night was pretty cold. It probably did get down to 32 if not colder. My kids did pretty well though. About 2AM I got Brandon to start the heater which was so heavenly :)

Friday morning we woke to frost all over everything. Bryan and LouAnne made us some yummy whole wheat pancakes and dutch oven potatoes. I got out my bike and trailer and took the kids for rides in it while we waited for breakfast to cook. After we all got done stuffing our bellys, the men took all the kids to the lake to fish. I stayed back with my Mother in Law, Tammy, LouAnne, Tegan, and Parley.

Bryan came back with the kids a couple hours later because they were all hungry and a little tired of sitting. After getting some lunch, Tammy and LouAnne took some of the kids for a walk down to the lake. They came back an hour or so later all wet! Jordan and Brigham had fallen down in the water. They've got some awesome Aunts :)

Everyone else came back a few hours later. Danny and Keri were the only ones lucky enough to snag a fish. Brandon had one but just before he was able to bring it up on the shore, it got away :(

The kids just played and played. Anything from looking for "treasure" to playing in the rocks on the road, to playing in the sage brush. And I thought it would be a problem not having any trees around lol. It ended up getting pretty hot and a few of us felt the effects with a sunburn.

That night Mom and Dad made us their famous chili and Danny and Keri whipped up some breadsticks in their trailer. After getting the kids to bed Brandon and I were able to stay up and play Clue with everyone in Danny's trailer. That night didn't get as cold and we all slept a little better.

The next day was Brigham's birthday! He was so excited! We got up and made everyone french toast and Tammy and Jason made sausage and bacon with lots of fruit. After we all cleaned up we brought out the presents for Brigham. He got 2 squirt guns, 2 nerf guns, 2 foam axes, and 2 foam swords. We figured we better get 2 of everything so someone could fight back haha. He loved them!

After another shot at fishing we were ready to go home and shower. Well, we were ready but I don't know about the kids. They had SO much fun. Not once were they sitting around wondering what to do. And they were thoroughly exhausted at the end of every day. I love camping! And I'm so glad I have family that enjoys it too.

In no particular order....

Fishing with Daddy!

Otterpop face :)
Me and my little man!

Birthday presents!
Daddy and Parley trying to sleep in....
He doesn't look happy to be 4 does he? Haha
Nana keeping Parley asleep by the fire while I play games with everyone :)
Jo being silly haha
They loved their beds :)

Jordan and Ellie playing in the rocks on the road....they would fill up their shirts and carry them everywhere....they did this forever!
Bigs and Brady sword fighting
Ellie came in our trailer to have lunch. They couldn't get enough of each other


Brandon all ready to fish....
We loaded up all the kids in the back of Bryan's truck to take them down to the lake

On our way there.... notice Brigham passed out in the back seat :)

Ugh!

I really need to do some serious venting right now! There has been so much going on the last couple weeks and I'm completely frustrated.

First of all, I was training for my run and proud to say, I had gotten up to running 6 miles! I was so proud of myself. I felt on top of the world! But then the next night I had my softball game. Parley was asleep and had been for almost 3 hours. My mom was going to watch my kids for me so I just decided to pump so she could feed Parley when he woke up. I got like 1 tablespoon! I couldn't believe it. I just started to cry. Breastfeeding my babies is so important to me. It's my bonding time and gives me the peace of mind that I am giving them the best that I can. I thought about what to do all night long. I had made a commitment and really didn't want to go back on it. But finally I decided that I just had to back out of the race. I had been training really hard and I guess my body just couldn't do all that when I'm trying to nurse. Besides the training, I had been really stressed and anxious about the whole thing because I wasn't quite sure about myself and if I would be able to do it. And I know how hard on my body stress is. I think that was also contributing to me losing my milk. So no, I'm not running the race anymore. I'm pretty sad and upset about it. Especially because everyone keeps saying "don't worry, there's always next year..". Well no, I'm not sure it's even a possibility next year. Or when it actually would be. My life is so up in the air right now I really don't know where I will be at. Whether I will be pregnant or just having another baby. So for the last couple weeks I have been doing anything I can think of to build up my milk supply again. I have been eating more, drinking a ton, and definitely not running. It has been a very slow process but I think I'm finally getting it back up. But there are still those times where I feel like I just don't have enough. So then it makes me wonder if I even made the right decision by backing out of the race. If it's even making a difference.

I know most of you already know this but in January, Brandon started a new job which allowed him to be home in the mornings. Before I had Parley I would faithfully go to the gym every morning at 9 AM. I would usually take my kids with me but after having a baby that's no longer a possibility because the daycare at my gym won't take them until they are 6 months old. So knowing Brandon would be home in the mornings made me so happy because I would be able to go back to the gym so soon. At first everything went very well. I was able to go to the gym almost every day. I felt totally happy with life and with my kids. Even through all the financial difficulties we were going through, I was able to stay very positive. I always felt like it was because I was able to go to the gym every day but now I am certain. The last few weeks I haven't been able to go because Brandon's work schedule has been crazy and now he got another new job which is in the mornings again. It's amazing how different I feel now days. I am very moody and get frustrated a lot. With my kids and with Brandon. I feel really bad because I know he is only trying to provide for us which I am so very grateful for. I just can't seem to force myself to be happy. Everything was going so well for awhile. All I could think about was having more kids because I was enjoying them so much. In fact, I was constantly saying to myself, when's the storm going to hit cause life it just too great right now! It makes me feel sad to know all that has changed now. I was doing so well with everything. I was getting so close to my goal weight and feeling good about myself. I was finally going to do a race that I have always wanted to do. I just felt like I was accomplishing something and working towards something. And I was seeing the progress! But now I feel like I have lost myself. I feel stuck in my house, constantly being weighted down by everyone else's needs and not being able to meet mine. I go through sort of a self destructive phase where I get so down on myself. I just want to sit on the couch all day and eat anything I can get my hands on! I know, I totally sound crazy right now but I really wish I could snap out of it and be happy again. Sorry for the depressing post. I just had to get it all out. Life is just really not fun right now :(